Monday, March 08, 2004

My New Theory



I'll lay this one out like a syllogism, so even the freepers can understand it:

    1. The world's supply of oil is running out. There are varying estimates as to exactly how much is left but it's barely enough to get us through the next 20 years, at most.

    2. The oil barons realize this and decide that they need one of their own in the White House in order to legitimize their grab of the world's remaining oil supply, which happens to be in places like Iraq and Venezuela.

    3. They do this by piggybacking the neocon agenda of invasion-for-the-fun-of-it, using National Security as their trojan horse.

    4. When the oil wells start to go dry, they are the ones in control of the remaining supply, allowing them to gouge the rest of the world when the crisis becomes unavoidable.


Thus, the Oilmen make a butt-load of money and the rest of us get shafted because of their shortsightedness and greed. After all, we still have no alternative fuel source for when the oil does run out, meaning that we'll all be living in the dark.

Then their grandsons will become tallow barons and buy up the last candles and sell them to us.

Perhaps I'm wearing my tinfoil hat a little too tightly these days but it's at least as plausible and far more coherent an explanation for war than anything the administration has said in public.

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