Friday, April 23, 2004

Last of the Famous International Playboys Terrorists

Posted by Keith

Leading miserabilist and former Smiths front-man Morrissey has fallen foul of the Homeland Security dragnet, according to BBC radio reports. It is not yet clear whether or the US officials involved had listened to Meat is Murder, or whether they thought they had a match on notorious Manchester terror mastermind Anwar al-Morrissey.

Morrissey is now a resident of Los Angeles, and was reportedly detained for some time at LAX airport. The BBC quotes him as saying that there was some problem with his passport, and that he was briefly suspected of being a terrorist. But he'll have been used to that in his musical career. And now he'll have one of those letters from the Department of Homeland Security saying he's not - but we doubt that'lll cheer him up much. [Register]

Those diabolical terrorists! it was there plan all along to lull us into a false sense of malaise by playing us twenty years or so of British New Wave with clever lyrics, and then, just when we thought he was merely another 80ís rocker, slowly dissolving nto obscurity, Bang! The true, awesome furry that is Morrissey, the Sleeper Terrorist would be unleashed upon the world, in downbeat, droning lyricism, as he slowly tried to drive us all to suicide. Simply ingenious.

What nefarious terror plot, left simmering since the eighties, will be exposed next? Perhaps it will be revealed that Simon Lebon is really a member of the IRA, or Robert Smith, the true leader of Hammas.


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