And all the thumpers gnashed and wailed, and flogged their backs with grandpapy's extra heavy duty Bible (the one with wooden covers, for thumping niggers and keeping the women folk in their place).
Welcome to married life, Boys! And Girls! I hope it's everything you hoped it would be. And for all my queer friends in the other 49 states, don't fret. Your day is coming. Soon, you too will have the rights of every citizen. 'Til then, go read the farmer's ode to the Love that dare not speak its name.