Friday, September 10, 2004

Seeing the Facts Through the Typography

I have to give Bush credit for this one. He had us all fooled. We thought he was a moron and he played that card over and over again, like it came from a deck with five aces. It's true, he is a liar, a cheat, a failed businessman, war monger, and an all around enemy to the English language. But he's just smart enough to hire Karl Rove. And Rove is a shrewd son of a bitch. He knows how to exploit the ignorance of the general populace, that most citizens have become so inebriated with trivia that with just a hint of uncertainty, he can send us all into a whirlwind of doubt.

They'll turn us all into existentialists if they have their way. We'll be so preocupied with our own navals, arguing about ligetures and obsessing over whether or not IBM had devised a typewriter that could handle proportional spaced fonts by 1973, that we'll completely ignore the fact that they'll have stolen a second election, killed another thousand soldiers for no good reason, trampled our civil rights, undermined our national security by exposing spies for cheep political gain and lied to us in countless other ways, big and small. But at least we'll have figured out whether or not an IBM typwriter form the seventies could have handled Times New Roman at least as well as a modern word processor.

It's not the font, stupid. Or even the weight of the paper these documents are printed on. It's the fact that while in the Air National Guard, George W. Bush ignored a direct order by his comanding officer. The man is guilty of least Dereliction of Duty, if not outright Disertion, and during a time of war. The first gets him jail time, the second makes him eligibe for corporal punishment. And, to add insult to injury, all this comes to light after Bush has spent the last month shitting on the name of a decorated war hero (whose complete records are on public display, unlike our supposed Commander in Chief's).

"Oh, well, Kerry may not have diserved one of his three purple hearts, or that Bronze Star because some guy who also went to Vietnam was paid money by Rove's buddy, Mr. Regnary to publish a book saying that John Kerry is a poopy head. It's all over the internet, and in Times New Roman, so it must be true."

Arg!!! I need a drink... I hear England has some good beer.


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